Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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