8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize