Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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