No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
