Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
