yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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