um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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