Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
