fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
