Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
