after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
