I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
