I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
