at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
