it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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