I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Randomize
