I hate your face
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
