Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
