The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
