So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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