Swine flu. Run for my life!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
