My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize