there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
