Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
