she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
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In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
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and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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