This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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