I'm lost and stupid without you.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
