After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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