yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
