I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
