I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
