Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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