So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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