Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
