yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
my being single is dangerous.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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