By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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