they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's shark week go big or go home
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
