gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
