I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
