we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize