Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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