The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just puked most of my soul out..
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
