Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
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