About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
zippers are such a cool invention
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
