look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
