the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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