so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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