This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
