I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
