dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
