i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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