So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
