When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
