yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
