last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
