i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
