Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
