Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
