I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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