Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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