Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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