Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
