Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
