If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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