i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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